Pam Stone: What is this Halloween outfit? Come on, man! | Pam’s Stone


It’s a $ 10 billion annual industry, Halloween, and as COVID-19 cases are fewer than last year, more parties are being held with attendees wearing all kinds of costumes.

I always appreciate originality and was curious to see what is the best-selling costume this year. Could it be a Biden mask? The guy with the horns during the January 6 riot at the Capitol? Harry and Meghan? A character from the Netflix hit “The Squid Game?” (I must be the last person on the planet who hasn’t watched this.)

Anxiously, I went to the google machine and searched for the most popular Halloween costumes of 2021. And in order, the top three are:

Are you kidding me? Is a witch the best-selling and most popular costume? Granted, I don’t go to a lot of Halloween parties these days. In fact, I don’t go to any. I actually don’t go anywhere after 8pm (yes, I have to get up early). But when I did, I once went to a phone booth with Superman’s cut leg and torn cape stuck in the doorway. The point is, I made an effort, you know? I should have won the top prize just for managing to drive my VW Bug in this lever. Thank goodness for the sunroofs, that’s all I can say. Still, I still lost to a guy who wore a T-shirt and a pair of jeans and pretended he was a tuna sandwich.

In any case, I digress. Where is our American ingenuity? No Jeff Bezos in his spacesuit? William Shatner? No UPS driver with a stuffed dog strapped to his butt? A stupid witch? Come on, we can do better than that! We’re putting a man on the moon and CEOs who don’t pay taxes in space. How about someone who just got their COVID shot with a bunch of keys stuck to their face and sprouting a monkey tail? A socialist monkey tail?

And a rabbit is the second best-selling costume? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone over 2 dressed as a bunny, and even kids would rather be a pirate. Who disguises himself as a rabbit? A dinosaur, I understand. Mostly a T Rex with his giant head and teeth and ridiculously short arms, just because it’s funny to see them trying to drink a beer.

If we take the spooky route for Halloween, Aunt Pam is here to give you some ideas that are sure to win the best costume trophy and inspire terror. I think a dentist, wearing a Black and Decker drill, is the stuff of nightmares, as well as what a friend once wore: giant fake hands paired with a white lab coat and “Dr. Payne, proctologist” on Her chest. . And if none of these appeal to you, maybe try dressing up as a wooden podium, because according to Psychology Today, people ‘s biggest fear is public speaking.

Or maybe Clark Kent, desperately looking for a non-existent phone booth …

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